Tag Archives: generational_violence

The Perpetuation of Abuse

I watched the deleted scenes in the movie North Country a while back. There are plenty of scenes through out the movie that will make the same point I’d like to emphasis here, but there is one in the deleted scenes that struck me.
To give a brief explanation of the movie, Josey is a single mother of a young daughter and a 13 year old son, having left an abusive relationship. The movie is about the horrific way she and others are treated, sexual harrassed, abused. It still happens everyday, and I guarantee happens to someone you know, so pay attention.

The scene that so struck me was when the two kids are playing on the trampoline. The young boy, Sammy, is jumping up and down and the daughter is underneath, playfully yelling stop, but clearly enjoying it.
Josey runs out and starts yelling at her son and pulls her daughter out from underneath.North Country

This is just one tiny point where you can see how abuse has affected Josey and how it comes out in raising her kids. Josey can’t control or take her anger out on the men that have abused her, so it tends to come out on one of the few men she can control in her life: her son. It’s true she shouldn’t do this, she should be more gentle and loving with her son, but I can’t blame her.

Far too often I think we look at someone doing wrong and we tend to place all blame and responsiblity, as well as all anger and hate, on that sole individual. It’s true they are responsible for their actions, but I think very often there are some terrible dark secrets that have affected their lives.

Let’s not be too quick to judge. Let us be more gentle, understanding, and willing to listen. In the end, Love Wins.