Some of the comments on Monday’s post, Moving Beyond Pro-Birth, struck a cord and reminded me that it would be wise to reflect on where we as a church have been in an effort to figure out where we are to move to. The church, as made up of individuals, but it often becomes it’s own entity, for better or worse. So, this is a call out for you to share your stories about your church or a church you know of and how the church addressed the issue of birth and life.
Some have stories of hurt and judgment; others have stories of love and grace. We’d like to hear them all. Please feel free to post your story in the comments section below, and if you don’t have a personal story, please come by and read the comments of others. If we are to move forward it is wise for us to look back.
From Erin:
My boyfriend’s sister had to apologize publicly for her teen pregnancy in front of her entire church … even though she happily raised her wonderful daughter and did marry her father. (They are still married, with three more kids, nearly eighteen years later.) Stories like this horrify me and drive me away from wanting anything to do with a church. You are absolutely right. Pro-birth needs to be backed up with unequivocal, non-judgmental support of pregnant women and mothers, at least if there is hope of drawing ever drawing other people like me from the outside in …
From Emily:
This past year I volunteered as a counselor/parenting class leader at a local crisis pregnancy center. They did a great job of helping to avert abortions and even trying to equip the women on what it means to be a parent. But after the birth? Nothing. I kept thinking about how when I had my daughter it was the hardest year of my life, especially the first six months, they were hell. I had postpartum depression, a husband who was home all the time, and tons of family that babysat and supported me through it all…and I STILL had such a hard time adjusting to motherhood. I kept thinking about all these teenage moms who didn’t necessarily have all of that and wondering how they were going to do as a new mom. I moved to another state recently, so I didn’t have time to really pursue it, but every time I asked someone about the lack of ministry to these girls after the birth, it seemed to be something that just didn’t fit in their mission of lowering the abortion rates. Right now I’m praying about what it would look like for me to start some sort of low-key ministry to women like these in my new city.
The other thing I was reminded of was a friend of my sister’s recently who found-out she was pregnant. She’s an international student at the local university who comes from a Muslim family and country and would certainly be killed or ostracized if they ever found-out she got pregnant. She lived with relatives so it wasn’t something she could hide. She felt like her only option was abortion. My sister told her that there were people at our church who could help her and take her in, and I think she was totally on the right track. The girl ended-up getting an abortion anyway, but it made me realize that this is the perfect situation for the church to really put actions behind words. If you knew this girl, would you welcome her to come live with you and have her baby (either to raise or for adoption)? When the rubber hits the road, how involved are we wiling to really get besides encouraging a girl who could possibly lose her life and everything she’s known to not have an abortion? Pretty easy for US to say.