In the past I’ve brought up the idea that we should be more giving and not use the excuse of what happens on the receiving end to justify our lack of giving. The response, not unexpected, that folks don’t want to give a person money because they might spend it on booze or drugs. Instead folks would like to give something else. Well, since I can’t convince them otherwise, I figured I should offer a more agreeable suggestion.
A sweet guy from Nashville gave a great suggestion about what to put in a gift bag you might give to a homeless person. Basically he suggests a paper bag with:
- new or clean socks
- nail clippers
- a comb
- tooth paste
- tooth brush
- deodorant
- bar of soap
- gloves (when it’s cold)
- disposable razor
- small candies
- personal note or decorate the bag
From
The Homeless Guy: Gift Bags
Sometimes they will try to make you feel guilty so they can get more out of you. Be polite but firm. If you set, and hold to your limits, they will respect you for it. This is a great way of giving. I have received such packages myself – they’ve always been a blessing.
I’d like to add one final suggestion to thise gift bag idea. I still think you should put a few bucks in the bag. Money is a very useful and tangible resource, you can get whatever you might need with it. Take a couple dollars or maybe a five and put it in an envelope and seal it. Then write a note on the envelope. Write whatever it might be that you would like to say to a person about being wise about what they use their money for.
What would you write on the envelope?
Joy! A man rubberstamped that word on a business sized card with a dollar bill paper clipped to it. He handed it to me and said, “I hope this brings you joy today”, and then he walked away. Whenever I was feeling down, I’d look at that card and remember the man’s simple act of kindness. It’s really hard when most everybody is treating you as if you were some subhuman being, being treated respectfully truly brings joy.
The gift bag suggestions are good, except so many give them. If I had a storage bin, would have been kept in toothpaste/brushes, combs, socks, knit caps, razors for a year. Most I’d give to other homeless that simply couldn’t hold on to things. Travel sizes cost a bit more, but much easier to carry.
Women appreciate sanitary napkins. The thing I appreciated most, besides cash, was a coupon for a free meal at McDonalds. To be able to sit indoors out of the cold, and eat something hot, is such a luxury.
ariah, your ideas are great. i believe in helping out anyone; homeless or not. it is part of who i am ethically, morally, and spiritually. i wouldn’t put my won family out in order to help someone….but man, oh, man. even in our state of financial instability, we are blessed. enough to give a little anyway. this all must be done with gentility though. i know from experience. we had a homeless man that was sleeping in the back corner of our backyard for a few days. sure, we could have called the cops or run him out. why though? he harmed nothing and only slept there….sundown to sunup. so, my wife started putting a little lunchbag with food and a few other “essentials” in it during the day so it would be there for him at night. when she told me i was furious for obvious “security” reasons. all the “what ifs” rushed to my head. but then i realized that she believed in what she was doing and so we continued for two more days. the last day we got to do this we put a note with the bag that said we would try and come talk to him this evening when the sun had set. we weren’t sure what we would say but we knew God would give us a voice for him. when we showed up to talk…he was gone. all his stuff was gone. the leaves had been brushed back over. i am only left to think that we spooked him. we haven’t seen him since. i only wish now that we would have been more clear that while we were not going to always be able to give a “hand out” that he was welcome to find safety and shelter in our backyard and “lean-to” for as long as he wanted.
Sanitary napkins are and excellent addition.
Drew, that’s a great story you shared, thank you for being honest and willing to share it, especially the ending. I think we often coat stories in such a way as to make a happy ending. Yours is real and points to the fact the life and love is more complicated then we like to think.
Ariah –
Good to see you warming up to the gift bag idea! However – I see you’re still holding onto the idea of giving out money. My biggest concern about giving out money isn’t whether it will be spent “wisely” or not but revolves around enabling. Someone that I love very dearly is a heroin addict. They went in and out of rehab but were never able to make real life changes. They even admitted that they just weren’t ready.
I am overjoyed to say that they’re finally on the path to recovery. I believe that the catalyst for this change came when the family member that they were living with kicked them out. This was extremely devestating for that family member to do but they knew that as long as our beloved addict could rely on them for food and shelter, it would be much easierfor them to continue using. Within two weeks, our loved one was in rehab and making great progress.
I will admit right now that I’m not an expert nor do I have any first-hand experience with homelesness. However, I wonder if the same concept of enabling applies. If cash handouts weren’t so easy to come by, would it encourage a significant percentage of the homeless population to address what ever issues or make whatever changes are necessary in their lives to obtain safe and constant housing? I guess my fear is that providing them with enough cash to “make do”, are we robbing them of the motivation to put their full efforts into working towards housing. I know that each story and situation is unique and holds its own challenges. But, I’m wondering if the time spent asking for handouts could be better utilized in rehab, getting counseling, getting GED’s, job training, whatever it is they need. I’d rather put my resources towards these types of opportunities that will provide them with the tools they need for long-term success.
However, I know your view is differnt. So, maybe we’ll just have to agree to disagree. 🙂
My brother was never homeless, he did however lose many things due to his on/again lifetime herion use. I know about enabling & tough love, but I still wish I’d given him a hug that Christmas morning when tears rolled down his cheeks. He eventually contracted HIV from sharing needles, and died. There is my ex-husband & his nephew. One never homeless, the other, pretty much so. (if his grandma would stop enabling him, he might get help, probably not).
What I’ve always suggested to people about giving money to the homeless, to give if you want, and don’t care how the money is used. I tell the story of “Renee” who when given a $100. spent it on crack cocaine, alcohol, tobacco, rolling papers, junk food snacks, and $10.00 on actual food. He had a cast on his leg, and garnered sympathy. He was also a fugitive from Florida, wanted for sexual assualt on a minor.
Not all homeless are drug addicts, or alcoholics. A lot of them do try rehab, but slip back into addiction. Maybe if there weren’t so many illegal immigrants in the US of A, there would be more jobs available, for a homeless person to do. Affordable healthcare, dental, housing, downsizing, outsourcing are all causes of homelessness. So is child abuse, rape, domestic violence, divorce. The man who gave out dollars with the Joy card, was spreading Joy. He did enable a few of the giftees to buy a beer. I kept my dollar clipped to the card until I really, really needed it.
Oh, perhaps 200 people will stop at the Village every week, waiting on jobs to do. But more people pick up illegal’s at Home Depot for a bit of work, then give a call to the Village, for some ready, willing and able workers, working on solutions to their problems.
Then we have the mentally ill, that ex President Reagen set free from Mental Hospitals, they aren’t truly capable of solutions. If cash handouts weren’t so easy to come by, it wouldn’t encourage a significant portion to seek solutions, a lot of them are active. Wandering Scribe was just given a nice piece of change, she’s looking for a place to live and may actually have a job. That’s in the UK.
Hello, I’m back again. Here is a story of a 71 year old homeless woman, living in her car for 8 years. There may be an answer to that question, about “safe and constant housing”
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-lopez7may07,0,6821511.column?coll=la-home-headlines
Homelessness in America and aboard is a problem, which needs to be addressed. I’m never sure what to focus on more. The problems in the United States are not as great as the rest of the world, however there are significant problems aboard which need to be addressed.
As far as a, gift bag goes, I always use Salutations gift bags. These high line, high quality gift bags are normally custom made to fit anyone or any occasion. Salutations also carries specialty designs to satisfy any need, business or otherwise!