Currently, I’m of the opinion that the all-out-battle I see presented by Christians in the political realm against gay marriage terribly misses the mark. It’s as if we think the most appropriate way to love our neighbor is to stand at a distance and vote away their immorality. All that aside, from what I can tell, Christians are fighting a lossing battle. Gay marriage will be recognized by the state eventually, it’s just a matter of time. And then the apocolypse will come, or our society will decline into moral degradation, or maybe we’ll go on just like we have been. Regardless of your opinion, here are a couple suggestions I have on how the church should be addressing this whole Gay Marriage thing. It’s mostly a PR campaign.
The Church should make a clear distinction between Biblical Marriage and State Marriage
Instead of arguing that the whole gay marriage thing is a threat to the institution of marriage we should be letting everyone know there is a clear distinction between what the state recognizes and what the Bible says (though plenty disagree on what it does actually say). This will help us do away with the feeling of being threatened since they are two entirely separate things. Maybe churches should start calling Biblical Marriage something else to help make the distinction. How about Biblicariage?
The Church should apologize for being silent or hostile to the Homosexual Community
I believe that before the church has an opportunity to speak to the Homosexual community it should offer an apology. We need to apologize for standing silent, or picketed, as AIDS took the lives of many. We should ask forgiveness for being alienating and hostile to many who had once called Christianity home but where ostracized because of their lifestyle choices. And we should acknowledge that though the main face of Christianity that has been presented to the homosexual community has been of hostile picketers at parades and funerals, we are also sorry for apathetically standing by.
This message could easily be communicated through a collection of pastors sending open letters to gay media outlets or publishing full page ads in those magazines. If the church should be an example of anything it should be in our willingness to acknowledge our own sin and ask forgiveness.
I figure there will be a lot to talk about around this one as well, so I’ll keep it short.
Good post Ariah.
I agree that the church should ask for forgiveness. Think about this: If Jesus were walking on Earth right now and saw the church fighting a war against the marginalized gay community, and then saw the gay community fighting for equal rights against their oppressors, whose side would he be on?
I also agree with your thoughts about the church and marriage. The church needs to seriously rethink what marriage means. Heterosexual couples had made a mockery of marriage long before this question homosexual marriage came into being.
But I also think taking a secular humanist stance on issues such as this is not the right path either. Saying “whatever you do is OK and whatever I do is OK is just fine because we are all bound by the same DNA” is not valuing that persons unique point of view. It’s actually dehumanizing. I think we need to recognize our differences and live in that tension, while still committing work at the problem and love each other in the process.
I have to say, the whole gay marriage debate really is a big yawner for me. As I said yesterday, to me this is just another sin, and obviously trying to legislate away sin generally does not work. The sins that have a direct impact on others, like stealing or murder should be legislated against, but being gay or dudes marrying dudes is not one of those. I also still think that it is one thing to say that you won’t get all exercised about fighting it, but quite another to support gay marriage as some sort of civil rights issue, or a way to encourage love and commitment.
Now, on a practical level, it is really untrue to say that gay people have no way to, for example, have their partners be able to inherit from them, or make healthcare decisions, or visit them in intensive care. Anyone, gay or straight, married or unmarried, can make a will, or a durable power of attorney for healthcare. Any of those legal documents is cheaper than a wedding. Maybe there are problems with employer paid benefits and such, but that could be dealt with short of gay marriage. Now, again, I don’t really care that much about the debate, but I think that in the debate the pro-gay marriage crowd needs to get it right, and to say that they have no way to have inheritance and such without being married is not exactly true.
I agree that many Christians and many churches have overreacted to homosexuality. I am not sure that full page ads or grand gestures are the answer. As with things like apologies for slavery and other past wrongs, it is mostly show over substance. (Also, the gay community has to share some of the blame for the inflaming of tensions as well. “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it” is not very diplomatic after all. Sure, they don’t have to apologize before Christians do, but still, it is not just a one sided affair here with regard to rudeness.) Christians who believe that homosexual behavior is wrong can have a loving attitude toward people who practice it and still hold the line on it being wrong behavior. So, Ariah, if the Bible teaches that homosexual behavior is wrong, you can say it is wrong without judging or condemning or hating people. If they say that you are homophobic or whatever because you say the behavior is wrong, so what, that does not make it true.
After all, the gospel does not say, “you are really OK, so come on in.” The good news really is more like something they say a lot in my church: “Cheer up, you are so much worse off that you think, but cheer up, because God’s grace is so much more lavish that you ever imagined.”
Aaron – “Cheer up, you are so much worse off that you think, but cheer up, because God’s grace is so much more lavish that you ever imagined.”
That is so beautiful!
This has been fascinating discussion on both these posts.
I think that before there is a big apology, there needs to be several small ones, as well as action towards a theologically acceptable reconciliation (whatever that may look like). In my opinion, before we need a PR campaign, we do need to have a compelling vision of what a Godly relationship with the GLBT community looks like and then we can start apologizing for the ways that we have acted that have not been in keeping with that Godly vision.
I don’t think it is too tough to know what we are supposed to do with gay people. We ought to do what Jesus did, which is to hang with them, show kindness, tell them how they can be saved. He also was not shy about pointing out right and wrong – just ask the Pharisees and his disciples.
thanks for saying this. you completely speak for me, as well.
Bonny, not sure where you found this blog post, but I’m so glad you’ve joined the conversation! Hope you can stay for more.