I thoroughly enjoyed Christmas. Time with family is always a good thing, and with lots of babies around, the joy is that much greater. However, here we are, the day after, and I’m experiencing the same Christmas Hangover I’ve experienced the last few years.
You wake up and there’s wrapping paper strewn about, the house is a mess. Your stomach aches from all the food you munched on through out the day, and your mental muscles are throbbing as you contemplate who gave you what, where your going to get thank you cards to thank them, what your going to do with all the extra stuff you now have, and how your going to balance your budget in light of the extra shopping splurge. As if that wasn’t enough, my biggest struggle is with regret. There are a lot of things I find myself regretting about the holiday season, but these are the primary ones.

I regret not being more outspoken about my thoughts and opinions. I tend to try and keep my mouth semi-shut from Thanksgiving through Christmas about consumerism. Sure I’ll mention Buy Nothing Day, charities to donate to, and Christmas is not your Birthday, but overall I really try not to push the anti-consumerism buttons too much during this time. I worry about coming across as a Scrooge. Yet, December 26th rolls around and I wish I’d said more. As I recognize others aches over their busted budget, realize there where many who would have eagerly agreed with me if I had just made some suggestions, and as I admit my passive contribution to the consumeristic culture I try to avoid.

I regret not being more grateful and cheerful during this season. As much as I try to express genuine thanks for gifts, people’s kindness, and general cheerfulness about the ‘reason for the season’, I feel like I often fall short. Regardless of how I feel about gifts, the reality is people who love me put time, effort and money into showing that through tangible gifts to me. Regardless of how I feel about the overdone ‘holiday’, it is a time where people genuinely think about others, donate, volunteer, give, and love. Even if I have problems with the motivation, I can’t deny that there are some pretty amazing things given this time of year.

I regret not making a wishlist. This is a very practical one. Every year, regardless of my desire to have gifts donated on my behalf, to not receive things I don’t need, and to avoid the consumerism, my loved ones still desire to express their love through the purchase of things for me. The truth is there are things that I need and want. If I would just go to the little extra effort of being specific and helping my loved ones out, they would be able to experience the joy of giving and I the joy of receiving something I specifically want.

I regret my lack of effort in my giving. As much as possible, we give donations on behalf of our loved ones during the holidays. We like to donate to World Vision and World Relief, donating items specific to the individual they are in honor of (A pig for the aspiring farmer, a child’s tuition for the teacher, a new mom kit on behalf of a new mom). One of the first times we did this we made paper mache animals representing the donation. Now, it’s become so routine that I haven’t put much additional love and effort behind the giving. I’d love to do more hand crafted gifts, labor of love type gifts.

I’m not sure if others experience similar regrets after the holidays, but I’m going to make it a goal to change that this coming year. It might mean I make some hand made things and store them for the next 11 months, but I’m going to put more love in my holiday spirit next time around.

I don’t usually use my site as support raising (though I might do it more then most, who knows), but today I wanted to make a special request.

My good friends, Beth and Curt, are doing some awesome work in Haiti helping raise support to build wells for clean drinking water. It’s great stuff.

And today, in the next five hours, they are trying to get as many individual donors as they can through the Facebook Causes and thus win an extra $1000 for their cause.

So, be a pal and go to the Haiti Water Project and donate $10.

(That word starts to look funny when you write it a lot)

As you know, from some previous posts, and my lack of updates, we’ve been in the midst of some major life changes. First, the baby, which has been a joy through and through. And now, a house. I’ve written about the decision to buy a house before and as you can see, we’ve come to the conclusion that it wise an appropriate decision. I’ve also said before that I’m willing to be open to the fact that I might decide later that it was a mistake, but right now I’m pretty sure it was a wise decision. The market is definitely in our favor, we paid about half of what the houses market value is, it’s a duplex which will allow for residual income/future community/expanding family and more. I’m very excited about the decision and the move, except for one thing: DEBT.

I think debt is a bad idea. People argue there is good debt: houses and education, but I’d disagree. I think we could consider those ‘inevitable’ debt in our society, because our current system and way of accumulating things makes them nearly impossible to avoid, but I don’t think that makes those debts good. Many people, including myself, couldn’t figure out an alternative to taking out loans to go to school. I’m glad with the decision I made, but that doesn’t mean it was ‘good’ to go into debt. The same is true for the house. The ability to take out a loan and take on some debt has opened up the possibility for a lot of things we couldn’t have done had we waited until we could pay cash for a house. Yet, I’m not going to consider it a good thing that I owe a bank a large amount of money.

I think I should also mention Kiva here. I’ve raved about Kiva before, it’s a great organization that gives the ability to take out a loan to build and improve your business to millions of people in the developing world. Basic banking resources such as savings accounts and loans are things that have been unavailable to 90% of the world and have been a pillar to economic growth and mobility in a capitalist world. So, I support an organization that gives loans to people, gives them the opportunity to go into debt, but I still don’t think debt is a good thing.

I think if we were more creative and more communal with our money we could avoid debt all together, but for the time being it doesn’t seem to be an option. Mindy and I plan on being completely debt-free in ten years or less. We are committed to it and serious about it, because the opportunity to be free of any debt will allow us to serve others in a capacity far greater then what we’ve previously been able to. Debt is not a good thing, I’ll never agree that it is. In a society as engrossed with debt as ours, it’s important we all take a strong stand against it.

I’ll probably be linking to Lisa @ Corporate Babysitter a lot more as I continue to explore the ins and outs of raising my child in this extremely consumeristic world, but until I do, I recommend you check her out for yourself. Here’s a quote to get you started:

Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat thinking about the corporate dollars spent on new ways to manipulate my children. In a world of mounting personal debt and limited natural resources, is this akin to offering a kid a lollypop to get in the car?

Read Corporate Babysitter

Last week we talked about discerning between ‘Needs’ & ‘Wants’ and then we discussed practically what constituted a ‘Need’. Today, I want to discuss how do we handle ‘Wants.’

Financial Lesson #2: What to do with Wants

I hear the term ‘blessed’ thrown around a lot amongst Christians and in Churches as it relates to financial well-being. I believe that is extremely unbiblical, and it gives us a false notion of how to handle our Wants. The fact that someone has a lot of money (say a brain surgeon) often has more to do with were they were born then any sort of ‘blessing.’ If anything, I believe God might be trying to use them to channel resources to those in need that he desperately cares about. Yet, instead we get to throw around this idea that God has ‘blessed’ us with good jobs and financial stability, thus shown by our big houses, fancy cars and expensive hobbies. That is not what I see modeled in the life of Jesus and the early church.

To clarify, a ‘want’ is something that is not necessary for you to live a productive and health life. They are things we can certainly go without, but have believed the lies of our culture (and commercials) and feel that we need. What we need to do is get honest with ourselves and make the distinction first of all. Then we can begin to discern an appropriate way to handle our wants as part of a global society.

“There is enough in the world for everyone’s need; there is not enough for everyone’s greed.” -Gandhi

Everyone has maxims and values that guide their lives to one degree or another. Yours might be ‘He who dies with the most toys, still dies.’ or maybe it’s ‘He who dies with the most toys wins.’ Whatever the case, I think making the distinction and then categorizing accordingly is an important step. This is where our budget differs from others.

Some people have budgets that commonly have categories such as: entertainment,  recreation, travel, eating out, and others. I’m okay with making distinctions between these things, but they should fit into a bigger category of Wants. For our budget, we lump all of these into something called ‘fun money.’ Fun money is not extra in addition to all your other ‘wants’ it is the category from which you fulfill your wants. In some ways it’s a lot of fun because it’s like having a weekly allowance, but unlike when you were a kid, you get to choose how big it is. There is a lot of wonderful lessons that can come from a clear understanding of ‘wants’ and ‘needs.’

When you divide wants and needs and clearly articulate what things are simply ‘wants’ you start to have a great appreciation for those things. You also learn to make choices. Once you choose your alloted fun money, you start having to choose between dinner out, a couple lattes, or saving for that camping trip. Which ever one you choose you recognize that it is not a given and that there is a trade off in fulfilling that want. I might share some stories related to this later in the week, but I’ll leave you with this today.

The ability to fulfill your desire for things you ‘want’ is a luxury of a privileged few in this world; make no mistake, you are participating in something others only dream of. 

Tomorrow: I could have saved one more…